What are your thoughts about romantic love? Do you think there are misconceptions about it in our society?
I think the biggest misconceptions about romantic love in our society isn’t about the love itself but the path.
There’s this fixation on the idea of finding love, of being worthy or finding someone worthy. There’s an idea of giving, getting, needing, rejecting. Love has been commoditized.
In addition to this, there are also hangups regarding what is normal and expected. Job, marry, family, retirement, and so on. Romance is relegated to a compartment of lifestyle or romance is relied on for hope and a sense of self.
I’m not confused by the people who have casual sex or one night stands. I’m confused by the people who jump from one relationship to the next, yet who seem to be unhappy with every partner. Those are the people looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, just a body and mind in a role to be filled.
In my opinion, there needn’t be a thought of “I want a [boy/girl]friend” before actually meeting someone to whom you feel genuine attraction. Otherwise you wont actually see people, you’ll just see candidates.
The mind cannot find love for you, but the heart will always be able to recognize it. We use our eyes and nose to inspect food but we wont know the reality of it until we taste it. Similarly, we can use the mind all we want to make responsible decisions, yet we will not be able to know the reality of love until we use the instrument of the heart.
Personally, I really don’t know if I will be in a passionately loving lifelong relationship or if I will be alone the rest of my life. All I can do is remain open and see what’s what as life unfolds.
In the end, love is never found or handed to you. It is a way of life in which there is continual intimacy with the aliveness in the present moment.
“You beat a woman and drag her down a flight of stairs, pulling her hair out by the roots? You’re the fourth guy taken in the NFL draft. You kill people while driving drunk? That guy’s welcome. Players caught in hotel rooms with illegal drugs and prostitutes? We know they’re welcome. Players accused of rape and pay the woman to go away? You lie to police, trying to cover up a murder? We’re comfortable with that. You love another man? Well, now you’ve gone too far!”—Sports anchor Dale Hansen forABC local affiliate WFAA in Dallas. Whoa. (via gaywrites)
Is it possible to fetishize white people to the same degree they fetishize Latinas, black women, etc?
No. With white people as the standard of beauty already, any individual’s fascination or obsession with white people sexually is not a fetish. The black guys I know that only want to fuck white girls do it because they’re ignorant about themselves and they’ve been made into thinking that kind of way because of some fucked up personal history.
But I guess if you would still want to term it as a fetish, then it definitely isn’t to the degree of Latinas, black women, etc and although it would be degrading, it doesn’t have nearly the effects on white people as it does on PoC.
Me walking around, as a black male, having white girls fantasizing about how big my dick is, dehumanizing me and black men in general as just sex beasts and then the same with black women
white people were never degraded like that.
So its definitely not anywhere near the same degree but I wouldn’t even call it a fetish more than just ignorance and/or self hate.
So, maybe we’re the
generation of the selfie,
but we’re also the generation
that grew up in a tainted,
with every impossible beauty standard
shoved down our throat
through a tube
because eating has become
a guilty pleasure
and condemning beauty ideals
won’t go straight to our thighs.
And if, by chance,
we are able to destroy the
demons that you’ve planted
inside of us with your
constant advertisements and rules
that play behind our eyelids and
take root in our brains,
then let us take our fucking pictures
and capture that moment when
we felt beautiful because all this world
has taught us is that
our beauty is the greatest
measure of our worth.
Scoff at our phones all you like,
these delicate extensions of
our fingers, but know that
through this technology
that you couldn’t even
begin to understand,
we have smudged the entire
world with our fingerprints.
We are the generation of knowledge,
and we are learning more than
any that came before us.
So, frown at my typing fingers;
I am using them to grasp power
by the throat.
Try to invalidate us,
but we’ve heard our
parents talking about
the world’s crashing and burning
since we had sprung from the womb.
We know you’ve fucked up,
and we’re angry about it-
the kind of anger that
that I feel in my veins every time
I read the news from my phone
that sticks in my throat like honey
in a debate;
the kind of anger that simmers,
that sharpens teeth into daggers,
that makes this generation more dangerous
than you could have ever imagined.
We are the generation of change,
and goddammit, we’re coming.
”—Emily Palermo, An Open Letter to the Men Who Told Me to Stay Out of Adult Conversations (via starredsoul)